


When Will My Reflection Show?

by BroadwayItBitch



Category: IT (2017)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dysphoria, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Mulan (1998) References, Trans Character, Trans Female Ben Hanscom, Trans Female Character, Transphobia, i guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 12:01:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16218614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BroadwayItBitch/pseuds/BroadwayItBitch
Summary: Ben had a rather rough day at work and Bev helps her cope.





	When Will My Reflection Show?

**Author's Note:**

> Note: I am not a trans person, nor a trans woman, so I'm not completely sure if this is accurate. But I did my best, right?

Ben was having an off day today. She was feeling a bit depressed. She was forced to wear the men’s uniform at work, and that’s kind of where it started. When she gets home, she sees her girlfriend, Beverly, by the stove. She’s probably making dinner.

 

“Hey, Benny,” Bev happily says, setting the wooden spoon on the counter to kiss Ben. “How was work?”

 

“Fine,” Ben lies.

 

Ben works at a local restaurant as a waitress. She has been doing well at wearing the women’s uniform. But the manager, who was all for Ben identifying as female at work, was replaced by some transphobic douchebag. The dude made her wear the men’s uniform, even calling Ben the wrong pronouns, and calling her a guy.

 

Bev doesn’t believe Ben, but she decides not to pry. The redhead goes back to the stove.

 

“We’re having that Asian dish we had last week. I hope that’s okay,” Beverly says, stirring the food in the skillet.

 

“It’s cool,” Ben shrugs. She had changed back into her regular clothes before she came home, but all she wants is to just crawl into her bed and not come out.

 

“Now, get out of my kitchen, scoot,” Bev playfully shoves Ben out of the kitchen.

 

“I’m gonna take a shower, I’ll be back out for dinner.”

 

“Okay, I’ll call you.”

 

Ben goes into the bathroom, taking a makeup remover towel and she wipes the remaining makeup off. Her makeup was always very miniscule. Foundation, concealer, blush and mascara. If she’s going out for a girl’s night with Bev, she’ll put on more. Ben throws the makeup wipes into the trashcan and she takes the sticky, sweaty dress off. It was at least in the 90’s outside, a little warmer than earlier that week. She turns on the tap, feeling the water so it’s the right temperature. When it gets to the temperature she wants, she steps right in.

 

Ben shivers as soon as the water hits her back. The cold water was at the very cold setting. She doesn’t get the shampoo or conditioner, no body wash, nothing. She just stands there, gently rubbing at the back of her neck.

 

Then she starts crying. Everything that had happened today was very overwhelming. Ben hasn’t had a dysphoric episode in a while, about a few months.

 

There’s a knock at the door.

 

“Ben, babe, you’ve been in there awhile. Everything okay?” Bev asks.

 

“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” Ben sniffles.

 

“Can I come in?”

 

“No! Don’t come in!” Ben yells. This makes Beverly jump.

 

“Benny, you’re scaring me. Please, let me in, love.”

 

“No, please, go away!”

 

Bev decides to leave Ben by herself. Bev knows that when Ben tells her to go away, she’ll respect her girlfriend’s boundaries.

 

It’s only another half hour when Ben gets out of the shower. She dries off with the fluffy towel and slips on her robe. Ben leaves the bathroom, smelling the dinner Bev had prepared.

 

Ben goes into their room to find some pajamas. A t-shirt and some shorts. She just wanted to take a nap and never wake up.

 

Bev knocks on the bedroom door.

 

“Hey. I brought you a plate of food, if you’re hungry,” Bev says, holding out a plate.

 

“Thanks,” Ben quietly says.

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

Ben takes a bite of the Asian beef, practically moaning as she eats it.

 

“Holy shit, it’s so fucking good,” Ben swallows the food.

 

“I’m glad,” Bev smiles.

 

“I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

 

“It’s okay,” Bev places a kiss on Ben’s cheek. “Did something happen at work, babe?”

 

Ben’s eyes widen.

 

“It’s okay if you don’t wanna tell me. But I’d like to know.”

 

Ben sets the plate on the desk that’s next to the bed.

 

“Benny?” Bev questions.

 

“My new manager… he made me wear the men’s uniform at work. Called me by male pronouns, and… and...” Ben trails off.

 

“Oh, Ben.” Bev puts a hand on Ben’s back. “Did it set off an episode?”

 

Ben nods her head, tears prickling in her eyes.

 

“It’s so hard, Bev. I don’t know what to do,” Ben’s tears trail down her face.

 

“Oh, honey. It’s okay. It’s okay,” Bev whispers.

 

Ben had been working at the restaurant since she was 18. She’s 22 now. The main reason she was working there is because she wanted to save up her own money to get put on hormone replacement therapy. Ben didn’t want anyone to help her, she didn’t want to have a fundraiser. She didn’t want any help from the other Losers, and she was so close to her goal. Ben needed another hundred dollars.

 

“He said that I’d never be a real girl. That I was just going to be sad if I have any surgery.” Ben wipes away her tears.

 

“Oh, my God,” Bev whispers, “I’m gonna fucking kill that bastard.”

 

“No, don’t-”

 

“If he thinks that he’s getting away with misgendering you, saying that you weren’t happy, he’s dead wrong,” Bev angrily stands up, “I can’t have you working for some transphobic asshole.”

 

Beverly has always been protective of Ben since they met. At the time, Ben had been struggling with her gender identity, and once Ben met Bev, she knew what she was.

 

“But what about HRT? I still need some money.”

 

“Oh, for God’s sake, Ben, we can help!” Bev yells, startling Ben. “Shit, I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just… I just wanna help you. I don’t want you to be in that kind of work environment, baby.”

 

“I can’t ask that of you. I can’t ask you to give me your money for me.”

 

Bev sits back down on the bed, taking Ben’s hands in hers.

 

“But I want to. I want to help you in anyway I can,” Bev says sweetly. “I want you to work with people who are accepting to you, who will address you as female, who will know that you’re my girlfriend. I want you to know that you don’t have to take all that crap.”

 

Ben takes her girlfriend’s word. She knows that she doesn’t need to work there, but she’s worked there for so long, she doesn’t know if she wants to quit.

 

“Can I think about it?” Ben asks

 

“Sure, but there’s no way you’re going to work tomorrow,” Bev says, making Ben laugh. “Don’t you dare try to argue because you know that when I say something, I have the last word.”

 

Ben laughs again.

 

“I’m guessing the Asian beef is cold now,” Ben says, handing the plate back to Bev.

 

“I’ll heat it up. Why don’t you pick out something to watch, huh?”

 

Ben lies down on the couch, scrolling through Netflix to pick out Mulan. She hasn’t seen it in a little while, so she presses play when Beverly comes back in with the heated plate, along with a plate herself.

 

“Alrighty, Miss Hanscom, dinner is served,” Bev cheers, setting the plates in front of her and Ben. “Dig in, love.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading!
> 
> Love, Abbey Rickardsdottir.


End file.
